As we race full speed toward the end of 2021, scratching our heads at how we could possibly be entering 2022 in a few weeks, and clinging to the dream of at least one date night during our break, my husband and I find ourselves leaning hard on our Relationship Vision.

This time of year can be particularly overwhelming in our household. My husband and I are business owners, parents, and partners. We are both overwhelmed with a seemingly never ending list of to-dos while also tying to provide a fun and memorable winter for our two young boys. Add on all that we have collectively been processing through a pandemic, and it is a recipe for the blues.

We first created our Vision when we took the couples workshop several years ago. Our initial run felt incomplete and our lives have changed dramatically since then with the addition of another child and another business (not to mention…COVID). It felt like it was time for an update that we could use to regain our footing as a couple. We have been pulled in so many different directions, and this felt to both of us a way to ground our individual selves with our connection as a couple. ( AKA Pure Imago Bliss!)

Timing is often everything.

We had been scrambling to find time together, and were able to coordinate an afternoon where the boys’ grandparents would take them for a fun afternoon, and instead of finishing chores… we would vision.

We spent about three hours completing the relationship vision exercise from the beginning, rather than updating what we had previously written, since we wanted to meet ourselves here in this moment. We were in such a disconnected place that there were moments of frustration even around deciding what our ideal relationship looks like. Hey, when you are irritated with your partner, word choice becomes EXTRA important!

The lovely thing is, as we planned and dreamed and listened it got easier and easier to agree on the language we wanted. Language that worked for both of us. By the end of the process we had a full vision that we both supported and agreed was our big dream. Our roadmap. Our necessary guide. Our grounding framework.

It was enlightening and emotional work. We discovered that since our last attempt at the relationship vision some things are the same, but a lot of things are different.

Nothing is easy right now in the world. Time feels out of control and the direction and importance of our marriage was getting lost because of the many forces pulling us in different directions. Pulling our time, our energy, our emotions. But making the commitment to create moments of space with each other felt like bringing it all back to center.

Are we achieving everything on that beautiful piece of paper? Absolutely not! Does it inspire us to make changes so we can? Yes! And that is the point.

Reminding ourselves of our potential, potential that we saw when we first started dating, potential that has changed and matured over the years, is helping us stay on track for the happy, whole, healthy family we have both always wanted.

We plan to use our vision to help us get through the next few weeks with clear intention setting and to extend that to our new year’s goals. Here’s to visioning our way into a better future with more connection and grounding. We can do it!

We can all do it!

-Allison Dragony

Learn about the Relationship Vision and more at our next GLYW: Streamlined Essentials Workshop.