5 Ways to Care for Yourself and Your Relationship This Holiday Weekend
This weekend is about a lot of things to many people. It may be filled with family, it may be spent alone, it may be full of plenty, or not enough. Happy traditions to some, stressful to others. The dichotomy and duality of the holiday is ever present.
Wherever you stand on what’s ahead, here are 5 ideas to check-in and care for yourself and/or your relationship as we head into the holiday weekend.
Self-Care
Care for Your Limits: Self-awareness is the ultimate form of self care. Check-in with your body often throughout the weekend and make adjustments accordingly. If you are feeling overstimulated, take a break. If you are feeling under-stimulated, change your surroundings. It is ok and necessary to set boundaries.
Nourish your Body: Our bodies need our appreciation and kindness this weekend. Try your best to stay hydrated. Eat in a way that makes your body feel good. This holiday can be difficult around food. Try to use this as another opportunity to listen to your body and give yourself the gift of kindness. Eat how YOU want. It is your holiday!
Movement: It is easy to forget to move with all of the additional agenda items. Movement is a great way to ground your body. You can use your movement time to connect (Dance, Family Walk) or to escape (Solo Dance, Solo Walk!) If you are pressed on time, a quick 3 minute stretch can mean the difference between tension and ease.
Rest: Anticipation and a long-list of to-dos, grief, loneliness can all affect our sleep. If you are having difficulty sleeping, try to work in some rest time when you can. You could take a quick cat nap before/after the festivities. If you wake up early to prepare, plan to go to bed early or sleep in the next day. Tell yourself it is ok to rest. Rest is necessary.
Breathe: Deep breathing gives our bodies much needed oxygen and removes carbon dioxide. It helps lower our heart rates, stabilizes blood pressure, and lowers stress. If you start to feel overwhelmed or overcome with emotion, find a quiet place to take some deep breaths. Your safety, happiness, and well being are most important. Make space for breath.
RELATIONSHIP CARE:
Replenish the Tank: The push and pull of holidays can wreak havoc on our relationships if we are not prepared. Try to start the holiday off with a full tank (both your relationship and actual gas tank if you are traveling ;) The fastest way to replenish your relationship tank? APPRECIATIONS! Start your day with an appreciation for your partner. If you have time to do a full dialogue, wonderful! If not, a quick “ I appreciate you for …” or “One thing I appreciate about you is …” Make eye contact, and mirror your partner, then switch.
Share Responsibilities: Make a Plan! Conflict can arise if the business of the holiday does not reach for some balance. Take some time to make a game plan using the Imago Dialogue and share the preparation process. Make a list of what needs to be accomplished and how it can be divided. You can conquer anything together!
10-Minute Check-in: Schedule a time to connect with your partner. This can be first thing in the morning before anyone else needs attention. You can schedule it during the festivities (set a timer on your phone to take a walk together) or schedule your check-in before bed. Make it a priority that whatever else is happening, you have ten minutes, just the two of you. When you make the appointment, keep the appointment.
Communication (Code Word or Signal): At some point, one of you may become overwhelmed, or just need a break. It can be helpful to establish a code word or signal that tells your partner you are in need of a break or are ready to leave the engagement. This should be a simple way to let your partner know you need take a walk or would like to shift. Both partners should agree on this process and it is helpful to process this with a dialogue should a conflict arise over the breaks.
Physical Touch, Eye Contact, or Caring Behavior: A one minute hug, squeeze of the hand, eye contact across the dinner table, or giving your partner a gift of a caring behavior can keep you connected during the holiday. Affection keeps us linked to our partners and helps us navigate our surroundings with our relationship at the center.
This Thanksgiving, however you are spending the weekend, know that a little forgiveness goes a long way (or as Bob says, “Lots and Lots of Forgiveness!”). Be kind to yourselves, be kind to one another, and know that we are eternally grateful to you, our beautiful Imago community.
With Love and Gratitude,
Imago Georgia
